I’m Not as Think as You Dumb I Am©
by Tracy Beckerman
I used to be the smartest woman in the world. I know this may be kind of presumptuous to say, but it’s true. Until recently, my kids thought that I was absolutely brilliant. I could add double digit numbers in my head (oooh…), I could name all the oceans and continents (ahhh….), and I knew all the colors of the rainbow. Then, of course, my kids started school, and slowly my stronghold on brilliance started to ebb away. By the time my son hit fourth grade, I had become an absolute moron.
She Drives Me Crazy©
by Tracy Beckerman
When my husband and I went to test drive a new car, one of the features he got very excited about was the integrated navigation system. I found this particularly amusing coming from a guy who refuses to ask for directions from anyone, much less a talking map. But this was going to be “his” car, so if he wanted some computer telling him where to drive instead of me, who was I to argue.
Just Another Dog Schnarticle©
by Tracy Beckerman
That is a really cute dog!” I said to a woman as she got out of her car with an armful of fluff. She put the fluff down on the ground, it turned into a dog, and did a little happy dance.
“What kind is he?” I asked.
“He’s a Schnoodle.”
I raised my eyebrows. A flurry of jokes came to mind and I had to consciously stifle them to make sure I didn’t blurt them out loud. But even with my best efforts, one escaped.
“Oh really?” I said. “Vould you like some Weiner Schnitzel vith your Schnoodle?”
